As I Cee It

My cousin was in from out of town one weekend and because she liked our Instagram pictures from rock climbing, she wanted to go with us. It was up to my sister to inform her of the proper rock climbing attire – she did not do so. When my cousin and my sister arrived at my house, I hadn’t finished getting dressed yet. I was, at that point, in a sports bra and yoga pants.

Me: [Seeing her colored denim and Gucci loafers] What are you wearing?? We’re going rock climbing.
Cousin: Nobody told me what to wear. I didn’t know.
Me: My sister was supposed to tell you so you didn’t come out all super cute and stuff.
Cousin: Well, I didn’t know we were going to be showing off six-packs.
Me: [Looking down at my stomach] Girl. That is not a six-pack, it’s a deep breath.

On a recent trip to Magic Kingdom, I quizzed my third nephew on his reading skills. As we walked around the never-ending park, I would point at signs and maps asking him what they said. His reading has gotten better, so he correctly read just about everything. While we were waiting to take pictures with Mickey Mouse, he pointed out a sticker on his own and read it aloud.

Nephew #3: [points at sticker] Tokyo.
Me: Good job! Do you know what Tokyo is?
Nephew#3: [nods] He was a puppet, but he wanted to be real and when he told lies, his nose grew.
Me: [puzzled for 0.58 seconds] Oh. No, no, no, buddy. That’s Pinocchio. Tokyo is a city in Japan.
Nephew #3: [shrug] Ok.